Parents and Children

I did not think the news could get worse. 100,000 American deaths to date and more to come.

And then, last week happened. And then, our cities started to burn, and heartbroken people started screaming to be heard.

One tragedy is unimaginable enough. But two devastations at once – well, it feels impossible. I watch the protesters wearing masks. Are they protecting others from catching Covid or are they protecting themselves from contracting even more hatred and racism?

As you all know, I am in the momming season of life. I have an almost eight year old girl who knows the difference between Caucasian and African American and an almost six year old boy who has no clue. He does not realize the neighbors behind us are Hispanic, the ones to the north and east are Indian, the ones to the south are Asian, and the ones across the street are black. Jameson just thinks they are people to play with and wave to when we walk. This is so beautiful.

But, we all know this color blindness is painfully brief. As a parent, I am struggling to determine when I start intentionally educating and when I let the kids play without knowing. When do I sit down with my children and rip the bandaid off? How late is too late before they slip comfortably into our white privilege?

Yesterday, Jameson wondered if the coronavirus might be gone by his birthday. “It probably will be,” he hypothesized. His birthday is Wednesday, and not only will Covid not be gone, we will be further beneath darkening and terrifying cloud. I am tearful at the thought.

So what to do? How do we raise our kids right now? How do we do it right?

Maybe the beginning is simple. I think about when my kids throw tantrums. As I so grandly march off frustrated, Jason always knows, and he gets it right – they want to be heard, he tells me. Don’t we all? There are scientists and protesters desperate to be heard right now.

Each night, my family sits down to dinner together and we share our “best parts of the day.” Tonight, we are going to start something new. Tonight, we are going to share “what we want heard today.” Maybe I can teach my kids how to listen, how to truly listen to others. Maybe this is a start. Maybe you can do it, too.

And as my beautiful children continue to grow, I can continue to teach them how to vote and why it is imperative.

As we militarize our cities this evening and as more people are sick, I am thinking of parents who have the impossible job of making it right for the next generation. I am thinking of the kids who are blowing bubbles, eating popsicles, and dancing on their decks and also those who have already seen more than any human should.

Be good to each other. Be kind, always.