Back to school is in the air! The grocery stores are stocked with folders and pencils, and there are buy one get one free shorts and tees everywhere.
I am a deep believer in public education.
For most people, there is a school not far away that provides security, friendship, food, healthcare, counseling, play, music, exercise, therapy, and education for children that is free and open to anyone. That is, I think, amazing.
I am fortunate to be a teacher in one of these places. And I can say, firsthand, that the people who dedicate their lives to education are, by in large, incredibly good and decent people. They want great for other people’s children.
I am a parent, too. This is my most important role. Yet, the roles of mother and teacher are nearly synonymous. Though I deeply trust my children’s schooling to their teachers, I know that I, like all parents, am Harper and Jameson’s first teacher. I know that what I say and do not say matters, that the experiences Jason and I provide or do not provide matter, that what I roll my eyes at sends a message, and what I prioritize indirectly shapes their thoughts on what is important. The world is widened or narrowed for them based on how we see the world around us. That’s a lot of power, a lot of responsibility.
It feels like there is a lot riding on the year to come. We are all wondering if we let our children down last year when they missed in person school. We are anxious to see how the pandemic affected our students’ mental and emotional health (and how about their parents and teachers, too?). Some parents are still navigating new schedules, how to work from home, or how to resume life healthily. We are approaching yet another year that is unclear but hoping for a rebound.
If anything, parents and teachers need to be partners more now than we ever have before. We are on the same team, with high hopes for the children we care for. Today, I am thinking about how we can do that well.
*First, communicate. Please communicate in some form with your child’s teacher. If you don’t have email, make a phone call. If you speak another language and are worried, write a letter. Teachers have access to translators. If you never write an individualized email, respond every so often to a class email with “Thanks!” or “Sounds interesting.” When students are sent to school with no communication from home, it is hard. And it usually translates to a struggle for the child.
*Your teacher wants to know if your child is struggling. You are not being a helicopter parent if you tell us that you are worried about your student’s emotional health, friendship struggles, or academic concerns. You are loving your child.
*Sometimes you need to share hard stuff. As a teacher, I am left wondering why certain behaviors are happening more times that I am comfortable. We know that trauma, family trouble, etcetera is uncomfortable and frightening. It is also life. And life bleeds into the classroom. If your stuff is affecting your child, share it. I can respond, observe, and caretake better if I have access to background information that is significant. This is sticky, because privacy is important. We are not asking for an open book, just a glimpse into the chapters that are shaping a student’s mindset.
*Stop complaining (out loud) about the cost of school supplies. Our children have access to free and public education. This is such a gift. When you complain about buying another notebook, you are saying, “This is not worth the money I am shelling out.” But, it’s worth everything, isn’t it? Of course, the cost of school supplies has risen, and this is hard on many families. If so, call your student’s school first. Most districts provide backpacks and supplies at no cost to those who need it. In many cases, you can pick them up before the first day of school and have time to take them home and personalize things. When we give our children new pencils, we should do it assuming that those pencils will capture their growth, their insights, new information, and worthy thoughts.
*Send the message that school is important. That message can look and sound different, though. Sometimes that is volunteering for your school, which is great. But for those of us who can’t contribute time in our children’s classrooms (me included), it sounds like asking about school for three minutes before bed if that’s the only time you have. Of course, in an ideal world, it would be looking at things that come home, checking homework, and engaging in discussion about content. But, some days, the only thing I muster energy for is, “Did you love recess today? Tell me more.” That’s okay. I want to know about their school life.
*Expect your student’s teacher to get to know your child. It is okay to expect and desire him or her to know things that are personal and important to your child like his favorite hobby, his favorite character, and what makes him nervous. Connection is key. Parents and students should feel that. Your child should feel loved and heard when at school.
*Children are all individual. They come with different needs and unique passions. Sometimes, these demand specific modifications or accommodations in school. I am a parent of two. I get it. And yet, school is a beautiful big place that welcomes all. Sometimes, your child’s individualized plan will be put into play successfully, but sometimes we will need to wing it. It is not because we don’t know or don’t care. It’s because we are also doing our best for the others in our classrooms, too.
*Look for growth and celebrate it. This year, I anticipate students to come with varying levels of academic and emotional readiness. They haven’t stretched their full-time school muscles in a long while, and their stamina may be a bit off. So we should celebrate making a new friend, finishing a book, learning a new skill, or making it to Friday without feeling sluggish.
*On the flip side of this coin, maintain high expectations. Remember when your child did a full time school schedule with homework, reading, and maybe even one extracurricular? We know that children can do this. They will rise to the occasion.
*Remember that our lives are layered. Some days will be great. Students will finish homework and parents will ask about it. On other days, children will leave their homework laying on the bottom of the backpack, parents will be too tired, and life moves on. It’s okay. Teachers are also parents, children, friends, and colleagues. On some days, one of those roles may outweigh another. Give grace.
Let’s do this! Another year, another backpack, another pack of sharpened pencils! Let’s laugh, let’s read, let’s calculate, let’s create! And also, let’s rest, let’s breathe, let’s believe we can, and let’s be in this year together.
(This post represents my individual views only and not those of my employer.)
